It’s been a while since I last wrote a Journal Entry. I have to admit, I haven’t kept track of my spending since May. June was a bit busy since I was in New York for two weeks.
I didn’t get a hotel room with a kitchen, so we spent a lot on eating out. If you’re curious, check out my blog post here on what I did in New York. I share what I did for one week out there. If you’re interested in summer outfits I wore out there, click here!
While I was in New York, I noticed something had changed with my money habits.
Here, I’ll share what has shifted with my money habits and what old money habits continue to pop up every so often.
Being in New York, I was a little scared about how much money I would be spending. Especially in a city where there’s so much to see, do, and buy. I love shopping in New York City!
Before my trip to New York, I spent a lot on clothes. I share that experience in this blog post. Because I was tracking my spending, I noticed I spent close to $1000! I also justify spending $250 on 6 pairs of pajamas.
I don’t remember what blog post I wrote in. But in one post, I describe how I’ll have an item in my hand and am walking to the register to pay. The whole time, I’m thinking to myself, “You don’t need this.”
My thoughts and my actions were not aligned. I’d feel so much guilt while I’m walking to the register. Also thinking, “You know you don’t need this. So why are you buying it?”
For some reason, not needing to make the purchase was not completely registering with me.
It’s like I’m overcome with this addiction to needing this item. My mind has convinced me I need it. And at the same time, my mind is also guilt-tripping me.
It has been a struggle. To me, buying a new pair of pajamas or pants is helping me with my identity. Silly to see it written out, but it’s true.
However, I feel like things are slowly changing for me!
I noticed the transition of my money habits while in New York City. As always, my daughter and I walked into some stores to do some “browsing”. These moments of browsing usually turn into moments of shopping.
Except this time around, something was different for me. I noticed it. As we were browsing, nothing seemed appealing to me. I had no desire, and if I did, it was short-lived. I’d pick up a clothing item, look at the line, and then put it back because to me it wasn’t worth my time or money anymore.
I made zero clothing purchases while I spent two weeks in New York.
What I did buy were five art prints for myself and my daughter. They cost me $20. I thought that was a pretty good deal. They are prints that my daughter and I plan on hanging up in the house.
And trust me, I attempted to purchase something every time we went into a clothing store.
It was just something in me, like when I noticed a transition in not wanting to buy any more skincare products or makeup anymore. I used to have an addiction to those things, as well. Thinking that each product purchased would make me feel and look prettier.
That slowly dissipated when I had conversations with myself about how those things were unnecessary, and that I already had a lot of skincare products and makeup.
It was a slow process, but eventually I realized that I didn’t need these things as much as I thought I did.
That was me learning a new money habit, and now, I’m learning another money habit with clothes. I realized I have a lot of clothes already, and shoes, and pajamas, and jackets, etc.
What I’ve learned while trying to attain financial freedom is that this is all a process. I’ve had the tough conversations with myself; I’ve done the hard work of looking at all of my debt; I’ve done the tracking and organizing.
I’m still continuing to do all of the above. In addition to changing my thought process, which essentially helps me with better money habits.
What I needed to realize is when I notice an old money habit happening, like that urge to buy, and the guilt trip attached to it, I also have to give myself grace and time to implement everything I’m learning.
Although before my New York trip, I felt major guilt for the things I bought prior.
I was now being more thoughtful about my food purchases (my daughter and I shared a lot), didn’t feel the need to buy new clothes, and tried to find cheap or free things to do while in New York.
I still struggle with old money habits today. So I’m not completely free just yet.
Before our New York trip, I signed up for a fitness studio with my daughter. Upon returning, I have been going regularly 2 times every week for the past month.
Getting fit and healthy is one of my goals this year, too. With that being said, since I’ve been consistent with going to classes, I have had the urge to “treat” myself; Treat myself with new workout clothes.
I thought about how exciting it would be to show up to class with a new set of workout clothes. How I would feel more confident in a new gym set.
I even went so far as to look online and put the gym sets I liked into my shopping basket. However, I haven’t committed to the purchase yet. Because even though the thought of new gym clothes sounds fun and exciting, I realized that money could go to a bill or savings instead.
This act has also made me realize that there is a slight shift in my money habits, even though my old money habits came up.
Right now, I’m thinking I should continue to go to my classes, continue to eat healthier, and if I lose weight, then I can treat myself to better-fitting gym clothes.
I know I still have a lot to learn. But I’m happy with where I’m at right now about my purchasing habits. I can feel a small transition in learning better financial habits. Now, it’s the consistency on this trajectory that will matter in the long run.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far during this journey of tracking my spending and my money habits.
Money Habit One
I spend way too much money on clothes and eating out. There’s a lot of room for me to use that money for other things like paying down debt or stacking my money.
Money Habit Two
I need to continue being aware of what I’m spending on, but also give myself patience and grace, like I would a dear friend or family member.
Money Habit Three
I need to stay committed and continuously review my finances (not just my savings), even when things don’t feel or look too great in the moment.
Money Habit Four
Going back to patience, I need to understand that all of my hard work will not be done overnight. All the steps and/or lessons I’m learning will eventually come to fruition.
I hope to report back soon on better money habits I’ve adopted. Until then, as always, thanks for reading.
Love, Sutivi.